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long time no see [21 Mar 2005|08:06am]
[ mood | high ]

Hello everyone. Long time no see, and probably won't get on for a long time again but I miss everyone so whats up?

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My very own little bitching section!!! [09 Sep 2004|07:02pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

So I had an awesome fucking day at school today. I was so happy and hyper all day long and it was wonderful, I havnt felt like that in quite some time and it was rather nice. But then it started going downhill when Brandy went to work and I was left with my Mom and Lan. Let me start out by saying that my Mother is a huge ass fucking whore. Okay. Yeah. So now I'm in a bitchy mood due to her fucking stupidity so allow me to bitch.. a LOT.....


I hate fucking people that talk all day at school about how wasted they got over the weekend and how much they fucking puked. Okay seriously? Wow you cant hold your goddamn alcohol, how in hell is that supposed to be impressive? You're not cool because youre a fucking alcoholic, youre a loser because of it. If you drink then cool whatever, but no one cares and it doesnt make you fucking hardcore. Get over it.

I hate it when people ask me if I'm going emo because I wear a plaid shit. Umm I'm not "going" anything. I am who I am. I could wear all pink one day, all black the next and then flannel the next and it means nothing. Don't fucking label me bitch or get pissed just because I dont look like the girl you "think" I am today.

I hate it when people refer to me as "hey you! girl with the piercings!". I have a name, use it bitch.

I hate it when people are like hell yeah vote Kerry to me and then I ask them why and they cant answer. Fuck off poser.

I hate it when people are like so are you a lesbian? Okay thats not a problem, depending on the person and how they say it, it totally doesnt matter to me. However, when they mention past boyfriends I get pissed. Are you me? No. Therefore you dont know about my relationships and you dont know how I feel towards men or women. Suck my dick okay? Stephen didnt make me become a lesbian he merely helped me to realize who I really am. Furthermore, here a few statisitcs. Over half of all homosexuals have been in a heterosexual relationship before coming out, and over half of them considered it to be a serious relationship. So dont bitch at me fuckers.

I hate people who are like oh I'm a cutter because they have a few scars. Get over it bitch. Being an si-er is nothing to be proud of. It doesnt make you cool either, if anything it drives people away from you. So save yourself the hassle dont lie, dont try to make people feel sorry for you because no one fucking cares.

I hate racist people. I hate when I get in trouble for yelling at them.

I hate that we have this zero tolerance policy at our school for discrimination but when someone says something extremely derogatory towards homosexuals everyone just laughs-- including the teacher.

I hate people that tell ourageous lies. It's like get over it, thats so ridiculous, no one believes you. You are totally screwing yourself over for life.

I hate it when I tell my Dad I love him and he just says see ya tomorrow.

I hate people that are mean to people just because they are kind of nerdy or whatever.

I hate dramaqueens.

I hate people that hit on my girlfriend.

I hate people that are oblvious to being hit on.

I hate it when people get all upset about Nick or Alex touching my ass. Blah blah blah Brandy wouldnt like that. Okay, she's MY girlfriend and I think that I would know. They are gay and I am gay. Neither of us are enjoying it in the least so get the fuck over it.

I hate people that are like oh I'm so different just because they're not a prep. Ah I'm so individual because I listen to Dashboard Confessional and I wear black shirts and my I dont know how to smile. Okay youre not "yourself" or "different". Youre just like everyone else, only a different group of everyone else. This just makes you even more fake.

I hate sluts.

I hate it when guys hit on me because I have NO idea what to do.

I hate it when people are like be yourself, be just like me. Some people really are preppy. Just because they are doesnt mean theyre fake. It just means that that is them. You would shit a brick if they said you were just like everyone else so dont tell them they are because you dont even know them.

I hate when songs get stuck in my head that I dont know all the words too.

I hate it when people listen to rap really loud in their cars.

I hate it when people are totally open about how much ass they got last night. Okay do you want to hear about how much my girlfriend and I have sex and how great it is and every little fucking thing that we do. Well for about half of the population thats a big fat no so fuck off dont tell me yours.


Okay, I think I'm done. For now anyways. I need to finish writing a story for Contemp. Lit. about being stuck on an island with Kay, Brandy, Marilyn Manson and Carmen Electra. Oh yeah.

11 comments|post comment

caryn the peg leg commi [07 Sep 2004|06:17pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I am becoming that drunk, apathetic, strung out Jacki again and I just cannot decide how I feel about that. No, ya see I really hate it but then again I'm getting to be so apathetic that I guess I cant really be upset, or be anything for that matter.

I was talking to Brandy and I stumbled upon something. I'm so afraid of being lied to because lies are all I have ever had but then at the same time it's easier to be lied to because I'm so not use to the truth that I cant really handle it. Then something else came up, Would I still be fucking "that guy" if I never dated her? Yeah, is that completely pathetic? I guess I'm just weak. Maybe I just like being controlled, it's so easy that way. Even if I am a lesbian.

I'm so happy I have Brandy because when I'm like this she shows me how wrong I am and is totally there for me. What would I do without her? Well, a shitload of coke and a shitload of sluts. Man, I fucking love that girl. I swear she is the only thing that keeps me sane.

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and i just love you [06 Sep 2004|07:54pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

It's been like forever since I last updated....

So this weekend has definitly been one of the worst weekends of my life. I would love to bitch about it because I could go on and on but I'm far too tired. So on with it...

My Mom and I are moving into a place with Lan. It's probably going to suck really bad but hey at least I get a kitty cat out of the deal and I'm naming it Confusion With A K, from the song Konstantine for all you losers who dont get it. I was thinking about naming it Marilyn Sharise but I doubt it. Maybe I'll get two. Yeah that should be happening in like a month. I've never moved before but all I have to do is my room so it shouldnt be too bad.

The song Silence, by Blindside is my new favorite just because of this one line that totally explains my weekend with Brandy, "we have to prove that our love is real over and over again but let them think what they want because i know it'll never end".

Corey just told me he was moving to Ohio but it was a lie. Thank God.

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curing cancer and wn [28 Aug 2004|11:54am]
[ mood | horny ]

So these past few days have been from hell. Seriously.

First off, I get grounded because I call my Mom a fucking bitch. She was talking about my Dad and how terrible he is so I bitched at her duh. So I get a week without the phone, internet, company or going anywhere. Last night we talked and I got ungrounded and I stayed at Brandy's last night so its all good.

Then the night I got grounded I was supposed to hang out with Shelby because it was her last night. So her, Sammi, and Carrie came over for like three hours and Shelby and I were cuddling (something I always do with my friends). And then she had to leave and I cried. The next day my Mom was constantly bitching at me for "making out with Shelby". What the fucking fuck Mom? Yeah, and that was a fun one to explain to Brandy, let me tell you.... I dont even know how to express how pissed off I was about that. She is the love of my life and and Shelby is my friend, goddamn we're not all sluts like you bitch. Argh....

Then last night the worst fucking thing ever happened. Chad and Lan were here and they got drunk so I stayed up in my room all night then I came downstaris to simply get a glass of water and Chad started offering my money for me and Brandy to come home with him. ASS! So  Iwas obviously quite pissed and I kept just saying no no no no. Like guys ever fucking listen to that. So I went back upstairs and Chad came up to my room later and got on top of me. I was fucking yelling at him and he was like okay okay and got off but then he was sitting like right between my legs and he was talking to me about how I must like guys, and no one is really a lesbian, and how homosexality is some sin yet he doesnt even believe in God. Yeah, asshole. This whole while he ws trying to finger me and he was getting really upset so I was just like whatever because I am so fucking scared of anyone who's drunk you have no idea. So yeah he was touching me and whatnot. Yeah. Ah.... I dont feel like going into detail. But before I knew it Lan was prying him off of me and then he fell and Lan stepped on a bunch of my cds and Chad broke my closet and perhaps my bookcase. So I was screaming at the top of my lungs and my Mom wasnt even mad at them in the least. ARGH. Your daughter just practically got raped but hey it happens. Right? Ah, I fucking hate her.... I cant even describe it.

So then I walked to Brandy's work and I was just sitting in Wendy's bawling for like fifteen minutes. So I was talking to my friend Rene who happened to be working there that night and she got Brandy for me but it took her forever. It was wonderful  Ijust cried to her and she gave me the biggest hug ever it was adorable. So did Tara. I'm one lucky girl, I have got some damn good friends but everyone else in my life is pretty much a piece of shit. Yeah....

Oh yeah, I'm going to start living with my Dad as much as I live with my Mom and I should have my license in like a month. Yup yup!

4 comments|post comment

she got fucking prettier [24 Aug 2004|06:38pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

School sucked fucking ass today. I have so many classes with stupid fucking asshole wiggers. The only slightly rewarding thing is that they have to suffer through having a class with "that fucking dyke". Grrr.

So as if that hell hole wasnt bad enough, my Mom is being the biggest bitch ever tonight. First off me and Brandy are hanging out at my house when Lan shows up and my Mom isnt even here and he just stays, so I'm all pissed because this isnt his goddamn house. Then, my Mom does show up and she gets pissed because I'm on the phone with my Dad. Then she's being a total bitch to my friends. First she sees a Canada Flag patch on Tara' purse and she's like, the only reason you want to live there is so you can smoke pot right? What a cunt. Then Brandy is talking about how her parents arent letting her hang out with her friends after school this year and my Mom goes off about how Brandy is a bad student and I get pissed beyond imagine. Okay be a cuntrag to me all you want but dont say one goddamn word to my baby, you worthless piece of shit. Goddamn. Duh duh duh dun... and to top it all off she talks about how ugly I am.


Fuck this. So now back to the old relationship that I had with my Mom. Us hating eachother and me having absolutely no respect for her whatsoever.




p.s. Nella got prettier and I can tell its going to be a terrible year.

4 comments|post comment

[22 Aug 2004|01:29pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

So the other night I woke up at twelve thirty in the morning to Brandy, my baby, on her knees next to me with a ring in her hand. Fill in the rest bitches. I said yes, obviously. A ring on my wedding finger? *le sigh* .......



I am the happiest girl ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Dont mess with me about this bitches.

16 comments|post comment

orientation sucked off fucking johnny holmes [18 Aug 2004|06:11pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

ATTENTION: I cannot fucking tolerate people that are ashamed or "scared" to be their fucking selves so if thats how you are then fuck you, dont even bother talking to me because I will fucking hate you unless of course I happen to already be in love with you in which case you will simply break my heart. But hey, no big deal right? It's just my heart, just that little thing that you promised you'd take care of. Oh well, just another broken promise. Just as long as youre okay. Whatfuckingever.

Ya know the crazy thing? Yeah I wanted to fucking propose to this girl. Well I'm not going to have the most important thing and the most important person in my life be a fucking secret. SO FUCK THAT.

6 comments|post comment

it must have been him [16 Aug 2004|10:47pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Wow, I havnt been online in like forever, or so it feels.

So whats new?

Last Thursday I was in Lansing with Brandy and we got in a car accident. Good times. It was my first car accident and luckily Brandy was fine, the next day she had a bruise but thats all. I was so scared and I instantly started bawling. I hurt my neck so I had to be in a neck brace and then an ambulance came and they put me in a stretcher and I started crying more. They let Brandy come in the ambulance with me so that was good. I was in the ER for like four hours and then they gave me some good ole skelaxin and sent me off. It was cute, my Mom, my Dad, my sister, my nephew, my brother-in-law, and Lan all came. I'm totally fine now though. Poor Brandy, no more car. It was totalled as was the other car. All I can say is thank God for seatbelts.

So me and my Mom have not been getting along at all lately. She pisses me off with everything that she does. It's just like she is turning into the old her again or something and all we do is fight. Whatever. This place is a fucking prison. This is the first night I've been alone in a long time and it's sad.

Me and my Dad are getting along. We went shopping today and he was really cool and it turns out that he really likes Brandy so thats awesome.

Well off to go call my baby.

VOTE KERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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cheating isnt faster [11 Aug 2004|04:59pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Orientation is in a fucking week!!!! Ahhhhhhhh! *runs and hides*. I was reading this survery today and it asked if you like high school and  Ican't help but wonder, does anyone really like hell?.... Yeah I didnt really think so.

**** October 3, 2004: Anti-Bush Tour: Bright eyes-Bruce Springsteen-R.E.M---------HOLY FUCKING SHIT TO SEE BRIGHT EYES IN CONCERT?!?!?!  MY LIFE WOULD SOOOOO BE FUCKING COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!!



3 comments|post comment

your drug is a lifetaker [10 Aug 2004|04:54pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

I got my lip pierced yesterday!!!!! Woo- hoo!!!!! I really dont like it because the hoop he put in is too big for my lip but next week I'm going to get a smaller black one in and that'll be supercute. I got a new barbell for my vertical labret too but when I was putting it in I lost the ball to my old one in Brandy's car and the new one I got is also the wrong size so I put my old one back in and then I had to use a blue ball from the new one, yeah. Wow that was a long story. Or maybe I'm just lazy. So yeah now I look really cracky. Whaaatevers.

Brandy is spending the night again tonight which is freaking awesome. Last night and today, like all day I've just been so amazed by her. Ya know when you're in love with someone, sometimes you really get a grasp of just how deep your love really is. Well I guess its like that. I just cant take my eyes off her. She's so beautiful it literally taked my breath away. We were cuddling last night and I didnt feel good, and she was running her fingers through my hair and I just couldnt believe how lucky I am. She is so amazing, its crazy how perfectly our bodies fit together when we cuddle. God, I'm so in love with this girl. It's like when I'm with her nothing else matters and I cant even feel pain just knowing that she's there, I know that everything is going to be alright....

... I'm going to go write her a letter about all of this instead of wasting it in here.

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all hail the heartbreaker [07 Aug 2004|06:50pm]

Today Carrie, Sammi and Mark stopped by and I went for a walk with them. I havnt seen Sammi or Carrie all summer so it was way exciting! I had never met Mark before but I really like him. He seemed very cool. So now I'm in a really good mood, you can tell I'm happy when I start getting ditzy. I was pretty damn ditzy today. I discovered that I am very melodramatic too. Like any time something happend I automatically think about how that could result in death or something. It's kind of cute, I never realized that I do that before. Whaaatever. Then we were swinging at the park and I was talking about how when I was little I would look up at the sky when I swang and I though, Hmm what if I jumped right now? Wouldnt that be crazy if I just flew? I bet I can fly I just never knew it! Hahaha, that entertained them quite a bit. It seemed perfectly reasonable back in the day. So maybe I'm a little weird. Whatever. We stopped by Shelby's but she was leaving or something. Then we stopped by Pharron's and she wasnt home and then we stopped by Nick's and he wasnt home either. Bitches need to be home. So yeah that was my day. Awwww man!!!! Good times, definitly needs to happen more often. Mmm hmmm. So now Brandy will be here in about an hour and I'm going to fucking attack her with kisses!!!!!! In fact, I think I'm going to go call her and surprise her. Yeah. Okay. Toodles all!

2 comments|post comment

I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you [06 Aug 2004|06:39pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

So right after I last updated my Dad called and we went out to eat. I'm having an awesome day, or at least I was having an awesome day, so I was of course totally psyched to see him.

I'm so sick of tearing myself up about this. So sick of it. It's like, whatever I do I just cant make him happy. I know I broke his fucking heart, but breaking his heart hurt me more than he has probably ever hurt in his entire life. I feel like he's fucking dead, I'm not saying it like I wish he was, not at all. But he's not even a part of my life. He's my fucking Dad. It's worse than him being dead. Seriously, if he died today I know that I would kill myself, seriously. I dont know what the hell I'm supposed to do about that. I've tried and tried. Maybe there is just a certain point where you need to let go. I just dont know anymore.

Okay, I'm fine well I will be once I cut which I plan on doing as soon as I'm done updating.

Man.... I could really go for some good ole coke right now.....


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Conversation with my Mom about getting my lip pierced.... [06 Aug 2004|04:58pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Me: Hello bestest Mom in the whole world who has always been so understanding of me and all for my right to self express....I have a proposition for you...

Mom: Oh God...

Me: Well you know how you were going to let me dye my hair which would be at least twenty five dollars? Well *being silly* I think you should just let me get my lip pierced instead! *smiles*

Mom: You already have your lip pierced jacki

Me: I know I want to get it pierced on the side too.

Mom: Well that woud look weird.... why do I care? You'll just have to wait like three days.

Me: *surprised* What? Are you serious? Well I was going to do that instead of dying my hair and then there was a whole lot more to my proposition....

Mom: Jacki, I dont care. Ill take you to get it done Monday or Tuesday and you can still dye your hair. There's nothing else you need to do. I'm happy to do it hun.

Me: Holy shit! Youre the best Mom in the whole fucking world!!!! *hugs*

.............. later that day...........

Me: So you were serious about taking me to get my lip pierced right?

Mom: Yeah of course hunni. You need me to pay for all of it right?

Me: Well yeah, I dont have any money.

Mom: Okay I figured just making sure.

Me: Youre awesome!!! Holy shit I freaking love you!!!!!! *hugs*

Mom: No prob at all.

I have the bestest Mom in the whole fucking universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments|post comment

the bitch of all bitches [05 Aug 2004|07:27pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

I just came up with the greatest fucking plan to get my lip pierced again. Holy shit! Sometimes Im just so fucking smart I have to pinch myself to make sure that I'm real. Fuck yeah!

Can ya give me a hell yeah for Jacki?

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* I already have a vertical labret, now Im going to get the side of my lip pierced too. I dont know what ya call that but yeah. Booya!!!

2 comments|post comment

yeah i thought so [04 Aug 2004|05:24pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I need to quit being so fucking antisocial. Last night I went to the 4H Fair with Brandy and we were talking to Hannah and this girl came up and she was the most annoying person I have talk to since well since school ended. She was sooooo happy and hyper and like oh my god cute guys and eyw smelly animals and like oh my god cute guys some more and like im cute too and so he like checked me out and i was like oh my god and my blonde hair isnt really blonde but they dont know that so does it really matter and like oh my god hehehehehe. FUCK! I fucking hate people. What the hell am I going to do? I have to go back to school in twenty fucking days. SICK! I hate people sooooo much. And it ocurred to me that I hear stupid people like that all the time in that hell hole and fucking eh, Nella is going to be at our school and that alone makes my life fucking hell. AHHHH!!!!!!!!!

In better news, Tara and Brandy and I went to Preuss's the other day and we got to hold the ferrets and they are the cutest fucking things that I ever did see. Then we went to steak and shake and (da da da daaaa) I scored a ten! Fuck yeah man, go me!Yeah then we had a bonfire at Brandy's and we all got pretty high. Brandy wasnt even high yet but she put some gasoline on the fire and the gas can caught on fire and then her pants caught on fire and the grass did all over and there was this huge ass fire in the middle of the yard and black smoke was going up to her house and holy shit it fucking sucked. Yeah, so we finally put it out after freaking out for like ten fucking minutes. Oh God, it was terrible. Terrible terrible terrible. I'm really really scared of fire and after that the fear is just so much worse. It sucked, everyone was laughing and whatnot and I was just crying. What a bitch. But then we got really baked and we all thought it was much more funny.

5 comments|post comment

the best night EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! [31 Jul 2004|07:20pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Holy fucking shit! Last night was the best fucking ever!!!!!

Okay, my Mom left yesterday to go camping so I had the house to myself. So I of course invited Brandy and Tara to spend the night. So we got quite a bit of pot, and it was really good shit, and we traded like a quarter of what we had for a fifth of Parrot Bay Pineapple. First we drove around for like two hours smoking non stop and we were all baked. More baked than I have been in a very long time. It was the shit. So we finally went back to my house and we started drinking and we drank everything that we had and it got all of us drunk. Then we smoked some more. Ah, drunk and high. Good fucking times man. Hardcore.

Me and Brandy stayed up until like seven o'clock in the morning. We had some really good conversations and some really fucking good sex. Yup yup yup. Aww man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tara also reintroduced me to The Cranberries, one of my favorite fucking bands that I had totally just forgot about I guess. Woo oooo!!!!!!!

She had to leave early in the morning but me and Brandy hung out all day and umm yeah. Hehe. Wink wink. She just left for work and then I am going to spend the night at her house tonight and whatnot. I'm excited!!!!!!

the only even slightly bad part of my day being what? well none other than stephen of course!Collapse )

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all of this only makes things worse [30 Jul 2004|03:05pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]

Things in my life are finally going back to normal. I cant decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

My Dad and I are talking again. He calls everyday just to talk to me and to see how things are going. I am going to start staying at his house more often, not a lot, but seeing as how I havnt stayed there since February I think, its actually pretty damn good. The more I talk to him, the more I miss him though.

I have to go shopping for school shit next week. What a bitch, I soooo dont want to have to go back to school.

Hopefully I am going to paint my room next week. It's going to be black with a rainbow border around the top and then Im painting like everything in my room too. Im excited! It is going to be supercute.

Things with Brandy and I are going awesome!!!

I still havnt figured out what I am going to do with my hair. I did have an idea but I dont know how to make it work and Im lazy so fuck it. Im doing it this weekend though so yeah.

My Mom is going camping, she's leaving tonight and getting back Sunday. So tonight and tomorrow night = me doing whatever the fuck I want!!! My Mom is pretty awesome and I can usually do that anyways, the only difference is that I can come home totally baked whenever. Now to find some pot. Another thing  I can do, be as loud as I fucking want to at night if Brandy ends up being able to spend the night, which Im really hoping she can. If ya know what I mean...ahhhhhh wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am thinking about drinking this weekend but I really cant decide. I wanted to quit. But maybe I will just do it anyways, its been quite a while. Hmmm. Eh I probably wont Im just really tempted to but I can stay away from it no problem.

1 comment|post comment

dont step on it it makes you cry [27 Jul 2004|07:22pm]
[ mood | creative ]

What do we think about dying my hair dark pink? Hmmm????? Anywho, like everyone on my fucking friends page has done this so I figured eh I might as well do it too. Boredom boredom boredom.

:x: name =jacki
:x: piercings = ears and vertical labret
:x: tattoos = none yet
:x: height= 5' 1"
:x: shoe size = 7
:x: hair color = black for right now
:x: siblings = two older sisters

|| LAST... ||
:x: movie you rented = butterfly effect but I never ended up watching it
:x: movie you went to = farenheit 9/11
:x: song you listened to = sunrise or a sunset by bright eyes
:x: cd you bought = adore by smashing pumpkins
:x: cd you listened to = mix
:x: person you've called = my dad
:x: person that's called you = tara
:x: tv show you've watched = the spin
:x: person you were thinking of = kay
|| DO... ||
:x: you have a crush on someone = nope im taked
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = sometimes but then I wouldn’t be with brandy
:x: you think about suicide = yes
:x: you believe in online dating = no
:x: others find you attractive = eh I guess
:x: you want more piercings = yep
:x: you like cleaning = sometimes
:x: you like roller coasters = yep
:x: you write in cursive or print = print

:x: long distance relationships = im neutral I guess
:x: using someone = against
:x: suicide = I don’t support it but its called freedom people
:x: killing people = against but hey it happens haha
:x: teenage smoking = against but lets not be a hypocrite here
:x: driving drunk = Against
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = for totally
:x: soap operas = eh whatever floats your boat

|| HAVE YOU... ||
:x: ever cried over a girl= yep
:x: ever cried over a boy = yep
:x: ever lied to someone = who hasn’t?
:x: ever been in a fist fight = lets not go there….
:x: ever been arrested = nope

|| WHAT... ||
:x: shampoo do you use = whatever is in the shower
:x: shoes do you wear = cons or flipflops
:x: are you scared of = just about everything….

|| NUMBER... ||
:x: of times I have been in love?= twice and a half?
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = once and a half
:x: of hearts I have broken? = I don’t know… more then one and a half… eh sorry
:x: of boys/girls I have kissed? = I havnt really been keeping track
:x: of boys/girls I've slept with? = 1 boy, 4 girls
:x: of guys you've obsessed over who wouldn't date you?= 1 guy and 1 girl
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= I don’t know
:x: of scars on my body? = too many to count
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = shitloads, just one that I still really feel bad about though

:x: pretty - no
:x: funny – not unless im baked
:x: hot – not at all
:x: friendly - yeah
:x: amusing -occasionaly
:x: ugly - yep
:x: loveable – not usually
:x: caring – sometimes….
:x: sweet - sometimes
:x: dorky - yes

|| favorite: ||
:x: 5 letter word: brand!!!!
:x: Candy: reeses, mr goodbar, lemonheads……
:x: Cartoon: family guy
:x: Cereal: lucky charms or reeses puffs
:x: Color(s): blood red
:x: Color nail polish: black or metalic blue
:x: Least fave day: tuesday
:x: Flower: I fucking hate flowers bitches!!!
:x: Jello flavor: is red a flavor?
:x: Jewelry: si pride bracelet
:x: Special skills/talents: wow way to remind me I suck! Bastard!!!!
:x: Summer/Winter: autumn?
:x: Trampolines or swimming pool: ahhhh umm both? Ha those trampolines that float in swimming pools. Haha gotcha!

|| Person who last.. ||
:x: Slept in your bed: me and brandy
:x: Saw you cry: myself? Probably brandy
:x: Made you cry: my dad
:x: You went to the movies with: hahaha my mom yeah im cool
:x: Yelled at you: I don’t know…
:x: Sent you an e-mail: amber

|| Have you ever.. ||
:x: Said "I love you" and meant it?: yep
:x: Gone out in public in your pajamas: fuck yeah
:x: Kept a secret from everyone: yeah but ive never been able to keep it
:x: Cried during a movie: lots
:x: Planned your week based on the TV Guide: nope
:x: Been on stage: yes
:x: Been to New York: no
:x: Been to California: no
:x: Hawaii: no
:x: China: no
:x: Canada: no
:x: Europe: no
:x: South America: no,
:x: Australia: no
:x: Wished you were the opposite sex: yes
:x: What time is it now?: 5:13 pm but itll be later when I actually put this in my lj
:x: Apples or bananas?: apples
:x: Blue or red?: red
:x: Walmart or target?: Target
:x: Spring or Fall?: fall
:x: What are you gonna do after you finish this?: sit here and wait for my dad to call… cut possibly
:x: What was the last meal you ate?: ramen noodles
:x: Are you bored?: yes
:x: Last noise you heard?: keyboard sound
:x: Last smell you sniffed?: food

|| Friendship/Love ||
:x: Do you believe in love at first sight?: nope
:x: Do you want children one day & if so, how many? I never use to want kids but hmm maybe and if I do no more than two little bitches
:x: Most important thing to you in a friendship is: loyalty

|| Other Info ||
:x: Criminal record?: not really
:x: Do you speak any other languages?: kind od
:x: Last book you read: some devok chopra book
:x: Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: bed, music, guitar, candles, stuffed animals, pictures
:x: worst feeling in the world: inadequacy
:x: Who you love: brandy, most of my family and some friends
:x: Who you miss: my grampa and my dad

|| You ||
:x: Nickname(s): jack, jd, jackolantern, jacki jacki jabber wacky, dykett, jerky…..
:x: Initials: jdz
:x: How old do you look?: eh 18 some days and 12 others, it fluctuates…
:x: How old do you act?: 16 I guess
:x: Glasses/Contacts: fake glasses sometimes
:x: Braces: nope
:x: Do you have any pets?: a dog at my dads
:x: You get embarrassed: verrrrrrry rarely
:x: What makes you happy?: nighttime walks, being with brandy, drugs from time to time, cutting, being alone in my room, cleaning
:x: What upsets you?: everyone sometimes, president bush, homophobia, conservatives, people who tell me to eat, mr gnegy, school in general….

|| Finish the sentence: ||
:x: I Love to... cuddle
:x: I Miss... my dad hardcore
:x: I Wish... I had my "kill me" tin right now
:x: I Hope... my dad calls me soon
:x: I'm Annoyed by... pot heads
:x: I Am... sooooo in love with brandy
:x: I Want to Be... happy
:x: I Would Never... hurt an animal
:x: I'd Rather... be killed by a killer who was after me then survive the encounter
:x: I Am Tired of... people worrying
:x: I Will Always be... me


2 comments|post comment

it couldnt be [25 Jul 2004|03:39pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I didnt end up staying the night at my Dad's the other night but last night I went to the store with him and Brandy came along and then later we all went to his girlfriend's house and hung out with them. It was pretty fun. He was being really nice to me and I might go stay with him and I might go stay with him soon for like more than just a night. I really miss him. A lot.

Things with Brandy and I are like better than ever. Everything is totally cleared up and whatnot. I am really happy. I am so in love with her, it feels amazing to be able to hold her again.

Stephen re-added me to his hotmail thingy and Im scared to even wonder why. Grr, stupid people just leave me alone.

Carrie called me the other day and I was pretty happy to hear from her. Hopefully I will be able to hang out with her sometime soon, I miss her too.

Hmm there is something else but I just cant think of what it is. Eh. Toodles.

4 comments|post comment

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